[78-L] Jackie Vernon (was Frosty the Snowman)

[Cary Ginell]

Jackie Vernon. One of the best deadpan comedians who ever lived. Saw him once giving a "lecture" on the Janss Steps when I was at UCLA. He always carried around a crushed cornet that he tried playing. His funniest routine was showing a slide show of his vacations. He had a little clicker with him that was supposed to represent the changing of the slides. Here's one of those routines. 

"Hi there, fun seekers.  Well it's almost vacation time again.
You know, Fourth of July has always been sort of like a holiday to me.
In fact I'd like to show you some slides of last year's vacation."
								
"This is the first day of my trip entering the Holland Tunnel."
								
"This is the second day of my trip coming out of the Holland Tunnel."
								
"Here I am at the tollbooth tossing some money into the basket."
								
"Here I am under my car looking for the money."
								
"Here I am a few days later out on the highway picking up a hitchhiker."
								
"There's the hitchhiker holding me up."
								
"There I am hitchhiking."
								
"This is the hitchhiker again picking my up in my own car.
Luckily she didn't recognize me."
								
"Here's a little roadside restaurant, I stopped and had a bit of lunch.
The food was terrible, I never complained, but creamed cheese isn't
supposed to make noise.  Ugh, horrible place.  I ordered Cherry Herring
and they brought me a dish of herrings with cherries all over it.
It was hard to drink, the bones got stuck in my throat."
								
"Now we shoot all the way down to the Everglades in Florida.
If you ever visit the Everglades
one thing you must have is a guide
because it's very dangerous country.
I went to a place called Get-A-Guide Agency.
There's a man behind the desk named Sig Sackowitz.
And I said, `Is this Get-A-Guide Agency?'
He said, `That's right, this is Get-A-Guide.  Can I get you a guide?'
I said, `I'd like to get a guide, have you got a guide I can get?'
He said, `What kind of guide would you like to get?'
I said, `I'd like to get a guide who will guide me.'
He said, `Where did you hear about Get-A-Guide?'
I said, `From a hitchhiker.'
He said, `You've got a guide.'"
								
"And here's the guide I got.
His name was Guido.
Very famous guide, in fact he was known as Guido the Guide."
								
"Here's Guido the Guide leading me around a bed of quicksand."
								
"Here's Guido the Guide from the waist up."
								
"That's his hat right there."
								
"Here's the rescue party rushing to his aid."
								
"Here's the rescue party from the waist up."
								
"And here we have a lot of hats and ropes and things."









I still double up with laughter when I read it.

Cary Ginell

> From: mbiel at mbiel.com
> To: 78-l at klickitat.78online.com
> Date: Sat, 9 Jan 2010 12:21:40 -0700
> Subject: Re: [78-L] Frosty the Snowman
> 
> Micheal Biel wrote:
> >> It was snow abuse, but times were different back
> >> then.  Fat snowman jokes were part of the culture.
> 
> From: DAVID BURNHAM <burnhamd at rogers.com>
> > Well the political propriety police are at it again! 
> > Nowhere in the song does it say that Frosty was fat!!  db
> 
> I have the original sheet music and the original Columbia J series
> sleeve.  He was fat.  And other than carving like an ice sculpture, is
> there any other way of making a snowman but three ball-shaped parts??? 
> The voice of Frosty on the TV cartoon was one of my favorite comedians,
> Jackie Vernon.  He was fat -- he also died young.  
> 
> Mike Biel  mbiel at mbiel.com
> 
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