[78-L] fwd: Music Test Answers ^ (too good to post only to 78-H)

[Stewart, Joseph R]

Yeah, yeah, dump on Missouri.   Think I've seen these attributed to every state in the Union as well as Canada! And you know, some of them actually make sense in a warped (record) sort of way....
Randy Stewart
Arts Producer (35 years ago I couldn't spell it... now I are one!)
KSMU
901 S. National
Springfield MO 65897

-----Original Message-----
Date: Fri, 2 Dec 2011 12:42:43 -0500
From: David Lennick <dlennick at sympatico.ca>
Subject: [78-L] fwd: Music Test Answers ^ (too good to post only to
	78-H)
To: 78L <78-L at 78online.com>
These are stories and test questions accumulated by music teachers in the state 
of Missouri:
?        Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.
?        Refrain means don?t do it. A refrain in music is the part you better not try to sing.
?        A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.
?        Johann Sebastian Bach died from 1750 to the present.
?        Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English.  He was rather large.
?        Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf.  He was so deaf he 
wrote loud music.  He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was 
calling him, I guess he could not hear so good. Beethoven expired in 1827 and 
later died from this.
?        Henry Purcell is a well-known composer few people have ever heard of.
?        Aaron Copland is one of your famous contemporary composers.  It is 
unusual to be contemporary. Most composers do not live until they are dead.
?        An opera is a song of bigly size.
?        In the last scene of Pagliacci, Canio stabs Nedda, who is the one he 
really loves.  Pretty soon Silvio also gets stabbed, and they all live happily 
ever after.
?        When a singer sings, he stirs up the air and makes it hit any passing 
eardrums.  But if he is good, he knows how to keep it from hurting.
?        Music sung by two people at the same time in called a duel.
?        I know what a sextet is but I had rather not say.
?        Caruso was at first an Italian.  Then someone heard his voice and said 
he would go a long way.  And so he came to America.
?        A good orchestra is always ready to play if the conductor steps on the odium.
?        Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was written long ago.
?        Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields.
?        My very best liked piece of music is the Bronze Lullaby.
?        My favorite composer is Opus.
?        A harp is a nude piano.
?        A tuba is much larger than its name.
?        You should always say celli when you mean there are two or more cellos.
?        Another name for kettle drums is timpani.  But I think I will just 
stick with the first name and learn it good.
?        A trumpet is an instrument when it is not an elephant sound.
?        While trombones have tubes, trumpets prefer to wear valves.
?        The double bass is also called the bass viol, string bass, and bass 
fiddle. It has so many names because it is so huge.
?        When electric currents go through them, guitars start making sounds.  So would anybody.
?        What are kettle drums called?  Answer: Kettle drums.
?        Cymbals are round, metal CLANGS!
?        A bassoon looks like nothing I have ever heard.
?        Last month I found out how a clarinet works by taking it apart.  I 
found out and got in trouble.
?        The concertmaster of an orchestra is always the person who sits in the 
first chair of the first violins.  This means that when a person is elected 
concert master, he has to hurry up and learn how to play a violin real good.
?        For some reason, they always put a treble clef in front of every line 
of flute music.  You just watch.
?        I can?t reach the brakes on this piano!
?        The main trouble with a French horn is it?s too tangled up.
?        Anyone who can read all the instrument notes at the same time gets to 
be the conductor.
?        Instrumentalist is a many-purposed word for many player-types.
?        The flute is a skinny-high shape-sounded instrument.
?        The most dangerous part about playing cymbals is near the nose.
?        A contra-bassoon is like a bassoon, only more so.
?        Tubas are a bit too much.
?        Music instrument has a plural known as orchestra.
?        I would like for you to teach me to play the cello.  Would tomorrow or 
Friday be best?
?        My favorite instrument is the bassoon.  It is so hard to play people 
seldom play it.  That is why I like the bassoon best.
?        Just about any animal skin can be stretched over a frame to make a 
pleasant sound once the animal is removed.