[78-L] fwd: Music Test Answers ^ (too good to post only to 78-H)

[Don Chichester]

I can just imagine what he (they) would do with 'ritard'.
 
Don
 

> Date: Fri, 2 Dec 2011 19:30:10 +0100
> From: saag at telia.com
> To: 78-l at klickitat.78online.com
> Subject: Re: [78-L] fwd: Music Test Answers ^ (too good to post only to 78-H)
> 
> Fun reading, but all too similar to earlier attempts to fake unintended 
> puns.
> A Swedish journalist published a book in the 1930's full of stuff like 
> this "collected" from newspapers, official documents, school work etc., 
> but was fair enough to confess, in his foreword, that most of it was 
> made up, but "in the style" of authentic errors.
> I bow my hat to his memory.
> Kristjan
> 
> 
> On 2011-12-02 18:42, David Lennick wrote:
> > These are stories and test questions accumulated by music teachers in the state
> > of Missouri:
> >
> >
> >
> > · Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.
> >
> > · Refrain means don't do it. A refrain in music is the part you better
> > not try to sing.
> >
> > · A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.
> >
> > · Johann Sebastian Bach died from 1750 to the present.
> >
> > · Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was rather
> > large.
> >
> > · Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he
> > wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was
> > calling him, I guess he could not hear so good. Beethoven expired in 1827 and
> > later died from this.
> >
> > · Henry Purcell is a well-known composer few people have ever heard of.
> >
> > · Aaron Copland is one of your famous contemporary composers. It is
> > unusual to be contemporary. Most composers do not live until they are dead.
> >
> > · An opera is a song of bigly size.
> >
> > · In the last scene of Pagliacci, Canio stabs Nedda, who is the one he
> > really loves. Pretty soon Silvio also gets stabbed, and they all live happily
> > ever after.
> >
> > · When a singer sings, he stirs up the air and makes it hit any passing
> > eardrums. But if he is good, he knows how to keep it from hurting.
> >
> > · Music sung by two people at the same time in called a duel.
> >
> > · I know what a sextet is but I had rather not say.
> >
> > · Caruso was at first an Italian. Then someone heard his voice and said
> > he would go a long way. And so he came to America.
> >
> > · A good orchestra is always ready to play if the conductor steps on the
> > odium.
> >
> > · Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was written long ago.
> >
> > · Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields.
> >
> > · My very best liked piece of music is the Bronze Lullaby.
> >
> > · My favorite composer is Opus.
> >
> > · A harp is a nude piano.
> >
> > · A tuba is much larger than its name.
> >
> > · You should always say celli when you mean there are two or more cellos.
> >
> > · Another name for kettle drums is timpani. But I think I will just
> > stick with the first name and learn it good.
> >
> > · A trumpet is an instrument when it is not an elephant sound.
> >
> > · While trombones have tubes, trumpets prefer to wear valves.
> >
> > · The double bass is also called the bass viol, string bass, and bass
> > fiddle. It has so many names because it is so huge.
> >
> > · When electric currents go through them, guitars start making sounds.
> > So would anybody.
> >
> > · What are kettle drums called? Answer: Kettle drums.
> >
> > · Cymbals are round, metal CLANGS!
> >
> > · A bassoon looks like nothing I have ever heard.
> >
> > · Last month I found out how a clarinet works by taking it apart. I
> > found out and got in trouble.
> >
> > · The concertmaster of an orchestra is always the person who sits in the
> > first chair of the first violins. This means that when a person is elected
> > concert master, he has to hurry up and learn how to play a violin real good.
> >
> > · For some reason, they always put a treble clef in front of every line
> > of flute music. You just watch.
> >
> > · I can't reach the brakes on this piano!
> >
> > · The main trouble with a French horn is it's too tangled up.
> >
> > · Anyone who can read all the instrument notes at the same time gets to
> > be the conductor.
> >
> > · Instrumentalist is a many-purposed word for many player-types.
> >
> > · The flute is a skinny-high shape-sounded instrument.
> >
> > · The most dangerous part about playing cymbals is near the nose.
> >
> > · A contra-bassoon is like a bassoon, only more so.
> >
> > · Tubas are a bit too much.
> >
> > · Music instrument has a plural known as orchestra.
> >
> > · I would like for you to teach me to play the cello. Would tomorrow or
> > Friday be best?
> >
> > · My favorite instrument is the bassoon. It is so hard to play people
> > seldom play it. That is why I like the bassoon best.
> >
> > · Just about any animal skin can be stretched over a frame to make a
> > pleasant sound once the animal is removed.
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > 78-L mailing list
> > 78-L at klickitat.78online.com
> > http://klickitat.78online.com/mailman/listinfo/78-l
> >
> _______________________________________________
> 78-L mailing list
> 78-L at klickitat.78online.com
> http://klickitat.78online.com/mailman/listinfo/78-l