[78-L] HELP! I'm buried in STYROFOAM!!!

[David Lennick]

I get my winnings shipped to a US address and open them in whatever motel I'm 
at..getting records disconnected from static-charged styrofoam has become my 
second hobby. I now always have a tape gun with me, great for picking up stray 
bits of styrofoam. And one by one, the motels are cordoning off their dumpsters 
(they probably have my photo on a wanted poster as well).

dl

Michael Biel wrote:
> T'was the day before Christmas and I knew I was in trouble when the Post 
> Office lady wheeled my package out on a handtruck!  It was 20x20x10 and 
> it had a Kurt Nauck mailing label on it.  I knew I had gotten a lot of 
> 16-inchers in his unsold list, but not enough to fill THAT box!  I added 
> the other two packages I had received that day -- those were small 
> enough to fit into the package lock-boxes -- and started to wheel the 
> hand-truck out to the van. 
> 
> 
> Half-way out the door I stopped in horror.  Wait a second.  This package 
> came from KURT THE STYROFOAM KING!!!  This guy has a truck-sized bag of 
> pellets up on a raised loft in his two-story high packing room with a 
> blower sending them down a 10-inch wide hose into the boxes below.  He 
> don't mess around.  Styrofoam pellets are as serious to him as old 
> records are!  If I waited till I got home to open this up I would be 
> buried in styrofoam peanuts and be unable to get rid of them for the 
> next seven months.  I had to unpack the box in the Post Office and let 
> THEM worry about it!   I propped the box up on a counter in a aisle 
> different from the one with my P.O. box, cut the tape, and c a r e f u l 
> l y opened one of the flaps.  No matter how  s l o w l y   I did it , 
> Woosh!, out flew a dozen of those white E pellets of static 
> electricity!  As I tried my best to scoop them into the trash barrel, I 
> discoverd the secret behind that HUGE box.  The M.M. Cole C&W ETs were 
> housed in albums, not sleeves.  I lifted those out, hoping that the 
> pellets that clung to the plastic the Coles were wrapped in would not 
> fall on the floor before I could pick them off and put them in the barrel. 
> 
> And then,  surrounded by pellets on all six sides was ANOTHER BOX!  And 
> it, too, was bound to be filled with styrofoam.  And it was, along with 
> about 20 ETs in cardboard, one lonely 10-inch record in cardboard, and 
> three little books (more about one of them in another posting) in a 
> plastic bag.  By the time I got all the pelletts out of the boxes, off 
> my sweater, out of my beard, and up off the floor, I had filled the 
> barrel up to the brim and I carefully tied the garbage bag top so that 
> they wouldn't fly out all over the place.  I hope the janitor wasn't 
> curious why the bag was already filled and tied and tried to take a peek. 
> 
> I loaded my record packets and the empty boxes in the van, returned the 
> hand-truck, and took the slightly bashed big box over to the cardboard 
> recycling bin outside my former building at the university.  So now as I 
> listen to the Gopher Hole Diggers "sing" "There'll be a Hillbilly 
> Wedding In June", "Gonna Galop My Gal To Guadalupe", "He's A Hillbilly 
> Gaucho With A Rumba Beat", "We'd Like To Swap the Old Jalop", and a song 
> dedicated to my Canadian friend Graham "The Newtons Are Feudin' Again", 
> I'm resting my weakened heart from my latest adventure in unpackin' a 
> Nauck box!
> 
> Mike (now they're singing "Ya Gotta Quit Kickin' My Dawg Around") Biel  
> mbiel at mbiel.com